Adoption: A Neurosis By Design?
The UK is now a growing anti-family-anti-stability nation it seems? Out of 3500 Adoptions 90% were estimated to be “Forced Adoptions” (non consensual ones) . However let’s look at how these UK State approved ways create a socially approved : “Neurosis by design”
This is not a party political matter since both big UK Parties are involved. They have been, since 2000, with Tony Blair’s Labour Prime Ministers plan to create bonuses for local authorities to increase Adoptions .. After all, his dad was Adopted, and successful in life, so it must be the case Adoption rescues everyone else , surely ?
Selves split off from family selves, whether that means from each other or from oneself “internally” (A self split-off from itself too) will set up many unmet needs and identity problems in most Adoptees and birth family. However it seems, some Adoptees become politicians like Tory UK Michael Gove M.P. who as an Adoptee has been rigidly successful in creating a UK programme of Adoption onwards from 2012. Tory Edward Timpson MP a colleague of his too was also highly connected to Adoption (two adopted brothers) and was involved (2013) in streamlining more Adoptions.
It’s now been seen by the Social Care Review of 2021 that the push factor for the State being involved in increased numbers of “taken children”, “Looked After Children” and Adoptions, has been the draining away of support funds for birth family lives .. But what of “Neurosis” in this, where does that come in ?
A neurosis can be easily caused when anyone cannot meet essential needs for attachment and love as a family member. So what of State “Taken Children” and Adoptee experiences.
Shock often usually accompanies loss of a mother or loss of a child and it stations itself powerfully in affected women who live inside a context of permanent continual (child) loss, or indeed, in some Adoptees who cannot even speak their primal truth properly i.e. Early loss of a mother …
Who amongst this group can resolve a grief for loss of each other that society has no place for ? The Neurosis sets in as unmet needs un-grieved and they cannot be grieved because children or mothers in social separations are both alive often and remain mostly unassisted. Adoption tries to split off original identity too, and creates awful selective ways it copes with it’s own fictions. Try being an LDA “Late Discovery Adoptee” that was never told about a birth mother and feeling that pain , losses, and senses of betrayal by all.
Child Adoptees in early years are busy on a parallel almost unseen neurotic plane adapting to the pressures of the Adopters on them to: “be their child” .. Try that on for size, over years of being an internally compromised Self with another deeper Shadow-Self , and you can see why Adoption splits selves from selves in many ways. Yet all this may not emerge as mental distress until later. Finally deep primal need comes calling as growth occurs in many Adoptees and raises it’s own biological core of primal integrity .
Pain and unmet needs have to be faced. Grieved often deeply. Life before, any reunions of birth-family though is “LOST” .. That’s another area to grieve but it creates again a neurosis of pain that only slowly can be resolved by feeling emptiness and voids of “no-sense” — even “none-sense” ..Because Adoption DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. The concealment of a self buried under the alternative child care of Adoption is a paradox of human abuses socially approved and accepted though in all it’s doubtful design.
Into all this comes “Forced Adoptions” and the politicians — the clever little things, have learned how to make these go away. Just treat it as “historic” and not current practice. But! OH DEAR ! Many mothers and others including Adoptees are forming concerned coalitions out of the awful experience of Adoptions; which for the mother’s are often current and “Forced” by dint of family courts and often dubious evidence given from Social Workers at a 51% balance of probability level of “proof”.
For more mature Adoptees in the concerned coalitions the lessons of Adoptions are clear .. It’s often hell (see later figures)
Mothers in the UK pressure group “Support Not Separation” tried to get current Forced Adoptions on the agenda of the Joint Human Rights Committee (JCHR) when the Committee examined this in 2021 and 2022 . A text extract from their site shows their pitch and the way it was invalidated.
Likewise this writer as an Adoptee tried to show sexual abuse figures inside Adoption to the JCHR and the need for less Adoption together with a key recommendation that also got buried by the same “Human Rights” Committee.
A letter of concern to the committee was sent in July 2022 into the JCHR Joint Chair Harriet Harman MP which was diverted by another MP to officials so by default the Chair was kept out of sight of that. That’s an area of concerns that is now being considered for a write up to the Parliamentary Ombudsman’s office since “Officials” are not accountable for process , Chair’s are.
What was asked explicitly was, did the Chair see the figures and key recommendation ? The answer has never come to that.
So all in all Adoptees are supposed to bear a social neurosis done on them by social design. The social neurosis is shared though by birth parents and identity fictionalizing Adopters, that wrongly make believe with legal permission someone-else’s child is theirs …Alternative child care should never be designed this way for it could be done by identity-affirming Guardianships. Birth family life should always be supported far better or we will all keep creating unstable Adoptee-lives.. Neurosis by Design
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